I’m in an abusive relationship with EA Sports

There.. I said it.

For some reason I didn’t really want to admit it to myself until now, like some abuse victim who still thinks they can change him for the better. I reassured myself with anything good that I could find and ignored the horror that lay before me, but no more. Today I’ve decided to give them an ultimatum. Change your ways or lose me forever.

My love affair with EA Sports began in 1998 when I picked up NHL ’98 on the PlayStation. I rustled up a Multi tap and got 3 friends to play it with me. As I’m sure is the custom for most people, it soon descended into violence as we just kept smashing each other into the boards. It kept us amused for a few months and they moved on, but I was hooked. Each year I would buy the next version and cause as much mayhem as I possible could. As I got older, I would still try and get a quick game in before leaving for work in the mornings.

Things changed a little when the series hit the PlayStation 3. It just wasn’t such a time sink for me any more, and I found myself trading it in a lot earlier than it was. I racked my brain for a while and I think I now know why:

1) Too Repetitive

Now I’m sure that some people are going to say that the act of skating up and down an ice rink for 20 minutes is repetitive and while you may be right, that’s not what I mean.

Look at this screen shot. It was the match introduction screen to NHL11 released in September 2010 and would appear before every match you played (and that’s 82 games per season if you were playing a career)

Now compare it to this screenshot from the latest game:

NHL 12 & 13 also had this intro so that’s the exact same introduction screen for 4 years running and they even removed the icy background from the first year which I actually preferred.  Even the intro music is exactly the same. Surely someone in the EA office would have noticed this by now. Imagine if they created an introduction like Fifa showing off a couple of players on each team deking and scoring or an enforcer knocking someone to the ground. It would be epic. They even recycle the same background menu and in-game messages (they have at least remembered to change the year, but still tell you there are 150 new character heads which is a complete lie). The game also still tells you that Be A Legend is an ALL NEW mode but that is exactly the same thing it told you in the previous game (Its literally a copy and paste job).

 

And to make things worse, it actually looks like the 2014 version has been badly photoshopped when you compare it to NHL 13.

2) Announcers

Just like the screens, it seems that they are recycling the same voice recordings year after year and only getting the commentators to provide fresh material for additional features like fighting. Each year I get to giggle like a girl as they mention a ‘hard dump’ or ‘gripping his shaft’ and some of the commentary is repeated so often you could make a drinking game out of it and wind up ruining your liver before the end of the night. The commentary also feels.. well off. You can whip around a defender, deke the goalie out of position, put it into the net and spin off celebrating, but its only once you’re spinning away that ‘He shoots, he scores’ plays out. It just feels a bit hollow and unconnected. There are also times when it feels like the commentators have gone for a break, chirping in every now and again announcing the occasional pass, but missing out on a massive check that leaves a defender struggling to get up. There are also many times when a player leaves the ice due to an injury and they barely mention it or even reference it later. When you compare Gary Thorne & Bill Clement’s efforts to games like MLB The Show & NBA2k14, they just seem crap in comparison with very little flow going on.

3) Career Modes

One of the big announcements for NHL14 was ‘Live The Life’ mode and this was how EA Sports described it

To become an NHL superstar, you need to work hard to get through the minors. You also have to handle situations off-the-ice properly. NHL 14 Live the Life offers a look at what it takes to truly become one of the best hockey players in the world.

Every decision you make shapes your legacy in Live the Life. Interact with teammates outside of the rink through off-ice events. Take part in media interviews, earn endorsements, and track your relationship with fans, teammates, family, and team management. These factors will influence your skills, progression and performance.

When I heard that, I immediately got excited. I pictured locker room cut scenes and interviews afterwards where I would finally hear my player talk.. What did we actually get? The occasional pop up with a bit of text and 4 options. You pick one and it adjusts some sliders. That’s it.

Once this message is gone, then its back to the same menu driven career mode. All 4 modes (Be A Pro/GM/Legend & GM Connected) look exactly alike and its hard to shake the feeling that your looking at a spreadsheet. The same spreadsheet that you’ve been looking at for years.

But..

Even knowing all of this, there is something about the game that draws me in and that’s the game-play. This years Enforcer engine has made the checks far more physical and that’s what got me into the series in the first place. The creeping improvements in the in-game presentation (blooded faces after fights, ice sprays) are always welcome, but the series stinks of lazyness. I don’t know if EA are just phoning it in for the last in the current generation, but I’m afraid I need more in this relationship.

Balls in your court EA Sports. Call me when you get your shit together..